Today I am scrambling around like a chicken with my head cut off. I am about to depart for the weekend, to attend the Unitarian Universalist Associations Pacific Northwest District assembly. While my body has been in constant motion this morning it has given my mind a lot of time to digest why I do this work. It's been an interesting conversation that I have had with myself.
For years, my involvement with my church has come from a place of gratitude for the spiritual fulfillment that I have gained from being a part of this community. It is why I took my position as a youth advisor. To ensure that the community that so vitally fed me during my teen years was there for others who needed it. It is why I took a position on the district board of directors when offered. Coincidentally, it is also why I resigned my position on the board three years later, because I felt like my energy would be better served elsewhere. (Not that being on the board was a horrible experience, I actually cherish the whole adventure, I was just pulled elsewhere.) It is why I have stepped onto planning committees and into sponsor and advisor roles. Because I LOVE this community. I care for the members. I feel interconnected to all.
Lately though, I have felt this thirst for spirit in my life. I haven't been feeling it come from my church experiences, and this makes me sad. I do not feel that I am in the wrong place, I still feel like this is where I would like to be, but where is the faith that I felt before? Has my nerdy love for organizing and business and leadership drown it all away? Or is it just that I have reached a point in my life where I am again needing to re-evaluate my own personal spirituality?
The Rev. Peter Morales, the UUA president, in November wrote an article that articulated very clearly that ours if a faith of service and action, that it is only through service that we experience faith. It also very clearly stated that hanging out is not a spiritual practice. While I agree that, in priciple, this is a faith of service and action, I cannot ascribe to the belief that this is the only way to experience faith. And I absolutely know that hanging out can be spiritual. Of course, this does depend on your definition of "hanging out" and how often you just "hang out", but I feel very confident in saying that some of the more spiritual experiences in my life have come from spending time in community with just the right people. That sitting around and talking has brought about some very foundation-shaking ideas for me. So if this is not a faith where this is something considered spiritual, maybe I'm not in the right place?
I am not saying that I am ready to throw in the towel, declare I am not a UU anymore, and disappear. I am a UU. I agree very strongly with our principles. I love the people and groups that I put my time and energy into here in this organization. But I need something more. It's time for a spiritual quest of sorts, I suppose.
It's also time to fold clothes so that I can pack.
1 comment:
Maybe next week's credo writing exercise will help you see where you want to go?
Ours is a tough religion to be spiritually spiritual in. We're very practical, and that's awesome, but being raised up to the mountain top is not likely.
I got some other thoughts, but let's talk in-person like, or perhaps voice-like. :)
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