Operation Eat Better

So lately I have put a bigger emphasis on taking care of myself, for real. I have been working out at least four days a week, not just doing yoga. My energy levels are much higher than before and as a side effect, my metabolism (which was that of a hummingbird to begin with) has also stepped it up and I have found myself constantly hungry. This change has truly highlighted my lack of planning in the food department not only for lunch at school, but in general as well, thus affecting my finances quite a bit. So I setting out to change this.

Last week I joined a co-op and yesterday I picked up my first order of produce from them. Holy cow! Keep in mine this is ALL organic food. I got two bunches of broccoli, two bunches of swiss chard, a leek, a half pound of onions, a pound of oranges, 15 apples (so roughly 5 pounds), a pound of green beans, three artichokes, two bunches of celery, a pound of dill harvarti cheese and a box of mac and cheese for guess how much? $35! I was astounded at the amount of good food we got for so little money. This is the perfect opportunity to start eating better.

So my plan? Fresh fruit/vegetables at breakfast and vegetables at lunch and dinner everyday. I will also be preparing snacks to save me money and keep my blood sugar at healthy levels throughout the day. This weekend I will be making some homemade granola (because having allergies to nuts makes it IMPOSSIBLE to buy granola and granola bars in most stores) to mix with yogurt for breakfast/snacks, a white bean leek soup for lunches and then prepping vegetables for salads, and rice and beans to mix together in varying ways for lunches as well. I am also going to try and record what I am eating for a month to track my progress.

Today, I slept in too late for breakfasty food in my mind, so I started with an apple, walked the dog, then upon returning home made lunch. (It is awesome that I get to start this during a stretch where I will have no school.) For lunch I had steamed broccoli with black eyed peas mixed with some chili oil, black sesame oil and garlic. I also had some harvarti cheese on crackers and an orange. I am headed to a youth overnight so will be eating on the go for dinner. I plan on steaming some green beans, maybe mixing them with some black eyed peas with a dressing my mom makes made out of lime juice, olive oil and maple syrup-I know, sounds gross, but is really good. I will take an apple with me as well.

We will see how this goes! I am excited to see how much money I save. And am giddy about the co-op.

Know who cares for me?

So I have been reading this book called 10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting: Nurturing your Child's Soul. As the title indicates there are 10 principles. This book came highly recommended by a friend of mine and sounded like a good idea because my little girl finds wonder in EVERYTHING including big hairy spiders. I want to foster that wonder and help her find what that means in her life, and how she honors that every day. And let's be honest, with all the volunteer work I do at church most of the spirituality feels drained out lately, so I could use the reminder on a daily basis myself. I think I said this before, but the God language in this book was startling at first. I haven't spent time on my faith in a God context since I was probably 8, and to be honest, the man scared me.

So anyhow, the first principle is "Know God cares for you". It took me a longer time in my late teens and early 20's than I care to admit to acknowledge that all the blessings in my life were no longer just coincidence and definitely the work of something bigger than us all. Once I accepted that it was amazing how less alone I felt. Since then I have often thought of how much different my life may have been during that time period if I had never forgotten how to feel and recognize that something bigger than me, all of us.

What I did enjoy about this part though was that in addition to the normal suggestions for prayer, there was a couple realistic and less denominationally related ideas on how to integrate daily rituals to establish a connection between our children and deity, guided meditations for children and adults alike.

Shortly before reading this chapter, Emily and I started a dinner time chalice lighting every night, and a morning chalice lighting upon waking every morning. Em gets so pumped about this that she is eager and waiting when the time comes. She has the words memorized and has begun to think through out the day what she would like to say as far as joys go during our lighting. For me, it has become a nice reminder to be present in daily life and to appreciate all the small joys I am blessed with on a daily basis. It fits nicely into our daily schedules and provides us both with a quiet time to sit with the spirit and be thankful, and to reflect.

When we light out chalice we say: Life is a gift for which we are grateful, we celebrate all the glories and all the mysteries of this great gift.

In the morning we talk about what we are looking forward to or hoping for in our day, and at dinner we reflect on the memorable events that took place and what we are thankful for.

At the end of the morning circle or dinner, we say "May all that we do be done in love" and blow the chalice out.

If anything I got out of reading about this, it is an increased awareness of spirit. And while I still wouldn't use the word God when describing my own spirituality, I am much more comfortable and respectful of when others do than I was 10 years ago, and now know more what they mean...

Happy Farmer

Today I became a composter. I am giddy with excitement about this. The fancy plastic bucket you see to the right is the Happy Farmer Kitchen Composter, and I am rather fond of this find. It fits under my kitchen sink and isn't supposed to smell at all. The cool thing? You may have noticed the spigot, which is to dispense my very own homemade COMPOST TEA! Which, in addition to being super awesome when added to plants diluted, I also just found out you can pour compost tea undiluted directly down the drain to prevent slimy build-up. Which in Oregon, or this part of Oregon at least, happens a lot. It comes with this microbe powder stuff that helps decompose the compost super fast (lending to the no smell part). When the bucket gets full, I can then bury the contents in a planter with soil, wait two weeks and I have awesome fertile planters ready for my vegetable starts which will be ready for planting in a month or two. Woot! Potted garden. I am really excited to grow some vegetables this year as I have adjusted to the special needs of potted vegtables (ie: more attention) and Em has taken an interest as well.

Also today, I joined the local organic co-op, which has existed for over 35 years now. How have I lived here almost 15 years and not known about it? I have been craving a co-op ever since leaving Corvallis, and lo and behold, there has been one here all along. It's cute and little and they are so family friendly it is ridiculous. They encourage parents to bring their children in when they work. And holy heck it is so much cheaper. Dollars cheaper on items I buy all the damn time. I am so looking forward to the weekly organic food this will bring into my home. I have also started looking into CSA's for this summer. The season doesn't start until June for most farms this year, whereas last year it was April. A little more evidence that global warming is affecting us more than some would care to admit if you ask me...

Yay for doing good things for the environment...

Momma Pride

Yesterday as my daughter and I were walking to the bus stop she said "I want a doggy of my very very own momma, let's get one while we are shopping at the mall." (As much as I hate the mall, I must admit that the convenience of being able to have an eye appointment, get new glasses, and pay my phone bill all in one place is quite alluring.)

I explained to her that right now, with my mother and her dog living here, there just wasn't enough room for another dog, but when she moves out we can talk about it. Then the following conversation took place:

Me: But did you know that there is a giant house full of doggies with no homes? They are just living there with no owners, waiting for someone nice like you to take them home.

Em: Yeah! Let's get my doggy there. I bet they are cold and bored too...*sad face*

Me: They are. I am glad you want to get a doggy there so that one of them can have a good home with us.

Em: And I want it to be all mine. I feed it, and play with it, and comb it and take care of it. Hey! I know, I can sell lemonade for toys for all the dogs we can't take home! Is that a good idea momma?

Me: That is a great idea! That would be a really nice thing to do.

Em: But I get to pick them out so they know it was from me!

I am so happy that at five years old, despite the materialistic world that inundates her with messages of greed and money, she is capable of thinking of the needs of other people. It makes my heart smile.

Mom blog.

So while I was at AGM I attended a workshop, which I have mentioned a dozen times to anyone who will listen, on spiritual routine in family life. Among the resources recommended was a book title "10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting: Nurturing Your Child's Soul" written by mom and daughter duo Mimi Doe and Marsha Walch, Ph.D. I thumbed through it a little and thought to myself "I have got to get this book..." so that is just what I did. I found a copy at Smith Family Bookstore (what would I do without a totally bitchin used bookstore right here in town?) for a whole six bucks. Sweetness. At the end of each chapter there are a list of activities, meditations, things to ponder, etc. It would make a really great tool for a parents group.

So I read through the first chapter and partway through the second and so far, it is really speaking to me. The only thing I am having a problem with is that there is a lot of God language, which is apparently a word I have some discomfort around. Anyhow, I have decided to put into practice some of the things outlined in this book, so expect to hear a lot more about it.

Also, I am LOVING the fact that I can see signs of Spring popping up everywhere. Em and I have totally been enjoying the bright light and she has taken to chirping and singing with the birds. Today we are going to my favorite natural home and garden store here in town (Down to Earth) to pick out garden stuff and possibly some sort of composter/worm bin. I think Em would truly get a kick out of a worm bin.

In other news, yesterday we had Em's birthday party at the roller skating rink. I had very mixed feelings going into this, all of which were verified throughout the party. Young children at an overcrowded rink full of experienced and speedy skaters equals chaos. But there is one experience that has left me scratching my head. There was a little girl skating with Em and her friends, which I assumed was one of the kids we invited (I admit, I don't know what all her friends look like and some of their parents were handily absent). She sat down and had cake with us and everything. I asked Em later what her name was and she said "I don't know that girl. I have never seen her before!" Later we saw this child with a man. Or rather, saw her following a man around, trying to keep up with him, and as we exited the rink, this little girl was roaming around the parking lot all by herself. She could not have been more than 5 years old. I was shocked at the nonchalance with which this man who was charged with her care watched her walk in front of cars and around parked cars waiting to back out, not saying any words of caution to her. I asked if she was lost and only then did the man speak up that she was with him.

Who does that? I would be terrified to see my little girl carelessly walking in a parking lot, not to mention letting her wander by herself in a crowded skating rink. I wanted to hug her...

row by row...

Emily has started a list of things to grow in the garden this year. Her favorite, as always, being peas. And while she doesn't really like them, she REALLY wants to grow tomatoes. I am a fan of swiss chard because it is easy to grow and not too tempramental. Aside from those three, Emily has decided on a 'salsa garden' in which we grow all ingredients necessary for salsa.

This year I am adding a worm bin or composter on the back porch. I found details online how to make your own worm bin and I am tempted to see where this gets me. However I feel like the composters made my someone other than myself might reduce the scent of it all? The other addition is going to be flowers on the front porch. I am getting tired of the gray cement that greets you when you approach my front door.

Every year this place feels more and more like home.

It is also almost time to order butterflies. I know that this may be inhumane. But Emily loves having them. You know the kind you order as caterpillars and watch them make coccoons and turn into butterflies? She has this little butterfly hutch for them, but I don't like to keep them until they die, so we wait until it is warm enough to release them.

It is getting to be my favorite time of year. Things grow, I can hang out with the windows and doors open and let the breeze freshen my home, and being outdoors doesn't require so many layers. It's coming, I can smell it.

...because I'm a joyful girl

There is a fine line between being a relaxed, take it as it comes kind of parent and one that is neurotic and overbearing. At least there is for me. There are lots of things that set me over this line, all of which in time I am sure you will hear about at one point or another.

Today, as I sit here reading the news at my computer, my daughter asks me to turn on some music. Now, my kid has rhythm. More than I have ever had. And despite the fact that she has never in her life taken a dance class, the girl can dance. Like a 16 year old girl that is over-sexed, too mature, and can be viewed on the Disney channel at any given time of day.

First off, when did the Disney channel turn into a place in which to pour my little girl into the mold that society has decided she needs to fit into? And second, isn't it ironic that her father is the one feeding this into her brain? (Our two houses are so completely different that I have to remind myself constantly why we were ever attracted to each other.) I have come to the conclusion that he really just doesn't get it. I could talk to him about my concerns in this area until my face turns blue and he would still never get it. (That doesn't mean I am going to quit trying though.) I think the funny part is that this man is so over-protective of her physical self that he once told me when she was a toddler that if she hit her head one more time that he was going to take her to the emergency room. (I know, it doens't make sense on so many levels.)

To a degree, I can see how people would think that watching a four year old emulate grown ups is cute. I think it is incredibly cute to watch her do dishes with me, parent her dolls, or play teacher. It is not however, cute to watch her put on make up and say "there, now I am beautiful", to shake her hips suggestively and see that she has the facial expressions to go with it, and talk about how she has big thighs. This is heart-breaking to me. When I asked where ever she got an idea like that she said her dad's and his mother's house. Being me, I called his mom to talk to her about it. I started with the make up. "Isn't that just so adorable when she does that?" My response was "well, yes, to an extent until she says that she doesn't think she is beautiful until she puts on make up, which is not something that I am willing to let my child grow up believing to be true." Then the whole fat thigh comment. Ug. It makes me sick to even think that my beautiful little girl may be unhappy with herself at such a young age. She should not even know what body image is. Her grandmother laughed at first. I exploded. "This isn't funny or cute! It isn't cute to watch your beautiful little girl squeeze her thighs and say she is too fat! No matter what her size is. Do you really want to enforce that she grow up insecure and believing she isn't good enough the way she is? This is how you breed eating disorders! I can understand being concerned if she was leaning towards overweight, but even then, it would not be ok to tell her she is too fat. That isn't supportive, and it certainly isn't going to help. I am not ok with the fact that she is picking these things up from you. It doesn't matter if it is from TV or if she is hearing you say it about yourself, you are a role model and you need to act like one!"

*sigh*

Now, I don't think Em completely understands what it means to do such things, but habit becomes belief and I am not willing to chance it. She does enjoy putting on make up. Especially purple eyeshadow, all over her face. She is a theatrical person. This does not mean that it is something that should be encouraged or enforced as regular habit. I often get comments about how bold I am to let her pick out her own clothes. Partly that is out of necessity. The fight that ensues when what I pick is not what she wants is one of those battles that isn't worth fighting to me. Plus, she has a creative sense of style that incorporates her own personal comfort, and I don't want to squash that. And I would like to hope that by encouraging her to listen to herself before she can truly hear and understand the expectations of popular society, that maybe I am giving her helpful tools to resist. To be her own person. To embrace the extra weight if her thighs do get bigger, or the belly pouch if it develops, the hips, breasts, or softness that comes with being a woman. To help her know and love herself for who she naturally is, not who everything else wants her to be.