Dear Emily,

It is just past midnight and as I sit at the dining room table doing homework I think I hear you mumbling in your sleep, calling out for a cuddle, or shuffling out here for a hug. Then I remind myself that you are at your dad's house and it feels emptier here without you. I can smell you on your pillow, in the blankets we curl up in. Your little drawings, letters, and dolls strewn about the house act as a reminder of you. There are bits of your personality and creations everywhere around here and it feels odd when you are gone. Part of me wants to jump in the car and drive to your dad's house just to smell your hair while you sleep. It almost aches how much I miss you during your seven days away.

And for every part of me that misses you tremendously and wants you home with me, there is also an acknowledgment of how lucky you are to be able to spend equal amounts of time with both parents. I am so happy that you have such a strong relationship with your father, it is something I always wanted as a child and feared you may not get. You are such a daddy's girl sometimes, and I mean that in the most affectionate of ways. He is your hero.

The other day you asked me why he and I weren't married and for the first time I was confronted with how to communicate the complexities of the situation to you. What it comes down to is this: We both love you more than words, and we always will. Your father and I are very different people, and sometimes that gets in the way, but there will never be a day where you won't be in our hearts. I hope that as you grow you will never feel like you must choose a parent. While your father and I have our disagreements, you should know that none of them are your fault, and that I will never ask you to choose one of us. I respect and value that you have both of us, and I hope it is always this way.

I am so lucky to have you as a part of my life. And I am so thankful and blessed for the chance to be your mom.

And I can't wait for you to come home!
Love,
Mom