My experiences in life have taught me a lot about what love is NOT. Or what it's not supposed to be rather. I am grateful for all of these experiences but sometimes I wonder if this has created a hurdle to finding what love is. I am not saying that my life isn't full of love, because I have an abundance of it. But as I reflect back on the healthier serious relationships I have had, I can see that the fear and pain coming from the unhealthy ones took hold when things got rough and definitely affected the way I deal with things. I do not stick around very long when things get hard, I tend to run instead of examining what may be causing my emotion or lack thereof.

Recently someone has come back into my life that I walked away from and never looked back. Well, never looked back until I was looking at him in the face and something inside of me cracked. Is giving a relationship a second chance being too optimistic? Am I being a fool in thinking that it's worth a shot?

I realize more and more that I have some unhealthy communication habits that I use to protect myself. What I can't rationalize or even find, is what I am protecting myself from. I am beginning to think that maybe second chances are worth it. It'd be foolish to walk away again from something that feels right just because I am scared of the issues within myself that it is going to force me to face. The challenge comes in not blaming everything on that and not seeing the fact that its not going to work if it comes to that point. Oy.