I arrived at the young adult con this weekend feeling mildly stressed out and very distant. I have so much work to do lately, and spiritually speaking I have been very confused. I have had this idea in my head that I don't feel at home in any of the communities that I used to. So much of my interactions with the young adult community in the past have been colored with expectations and entitlement issues and drama that I got weary of, and I felt that for the most part, most of the community, while absolutely full of wonderful people, were people that I couldn't relate to or that were at completely different places than I am.

I drove home after the conference feeling cradled and supported with love and caring.

Isn't it nice when we are wrong about things like this?

On the way home, I also got a new tattoo. Now, most people view tattoos as body decoration or rebellious moments in life. Mine are spiritual, all three. But this third one was by far the most spiritual and meaningful experience out of all of them. Coming from a community that reminded me of the incredible support that can be found in this world, and of the spirit that dwells everywhere, I was tattooed by a very dear friend of mine, which is a first as far as my tattoos go. I was surrounded by some very good friends, which was also a first. And the work that I was getting done is so intricately tied to my life the last five years and seeing the lessons I have learn now there on my arm as a reminder to me, it's just so...meaningful. It was a little like childbirth. I had Vanessa holding on to me in one place, and Elona stroking my arm. Both were talking to me, and giving me room to breathe. In some ways, it was a nice lesson in letting others support me through my pain. Others may think that sounds silly, but I have so completely isolated myself in my pain and my challenges the last few years that I put a whole new meaning to "going it alone". Surrendering to the physical pain I was experiencing was a release, and feeling the presence of those around me holding me and loving me, it's something I have forgotten how to feel until now.

On the whole, I feel so much less alone. And I am reminded that the magic in life finds me in the most unexpected of places.