So that last post, the one about staying home all day? I still mean every word of it.

But.

I have been sick for a little over 24 hours and it's driving me crazy being stuck here with all my clutter. I have cabin fever in the worst sort of way. Contributing to this is a sense of feeling like I am still in my early 20's and just left home when I look around and notice that NOTHING in my house matches. Usually, I don't really care, but there is something that instills a sense of comfort and home when you actually put forth effort to make your home your own.

So here I sit, surrounded by too much stuff. Most of it stuff that I took because someone was offering it to me. Not because I need it. I didn't need the hide-a-bed couch, because my living room isn't big enough for two couches. I struggle with clutter a lot. It is my biggest challenge. Some of it is sentimental clutter and tied to emotional issues inside of me that I continue to work through every day. Some of it makes me feel like bad mom for not wanting to keep it around. Some of it is still there out of a lack of motivation and presence of never-endings ways to distract myself. I am so ready to be done with it. So. Once I get better. My winter mission is to make my home more of my own. Get rid of the couch. Get some shelves to organize some necessary stuff, and get rid of the things that when I look at, I am instantly drained by a sense of obligation or just frustrated by it's presence.

Not that I put much stock in appearing as an adult, but it would be nice to have a little more ownership over my space.

And to reward myself? Dinner party!