Everyday Ritual

As I sat through a workshop on bringing ritual into family life I realized how utterly lacking my life is of ritual. Not only that, but how my daughter doesn't get to experience much of it either, and that made me incredibly sad. Some of the most magical moments in my life have centered around the ritual I experienced as a UU, and as someone who celebrates the full moon. When did all of this slip away? And how startling is it that I didn't notice for a very long time?

For so long I had tried to escape the patriarchical church traditions such as the lords prayer that I used to have to recite. It wasn't until very recently that I realized I silently pray more than I am aware of, and that I deeply value it as a practice. I think I needed time to accept this and separate the necessity of prayer in life with the early memories I hold of church, which is wedded to beliefs I can't ascribe to. Once I was able to do that I was astonished at how easily prayer fits into UU rituals I value and wish to practice. Such as lighting a candle. Well duh! Took me long enough.

I vowed to incorporate more spiritual routine at home with Emily. And I love how excited she is about it so far. Today we glued terra cotta trays to upside town terra cotta pots and painted them. We have two, one for the dining room table, and one for the bedside table. I figure intentionally starting dinner with some words easy for her to remember and lighting a candle will not only meet the need of a more spiritually infused family life, but also more intentionally bring us together to eat, instead of different people sitting around a table not really being present with each other. And Emily makes a point every day to tell me about what she had fun doing, and I love the idea of expressing gratitude for what life brings our way no matter how many other stresses exist, so that will now be a bedtime routine.

Something else I wanted to say about this incredible workshop. Ok, well two. One of the wonderful ladies leading this read something she wrote (oh whaddya know, she writes a blog, Chalice Spark, you should read it, she is wonderful) about the traditions she and her family started around the holidays. It was touching and refreshing to hear of a valued family tradition that didn't center around materialism. It brought tears to my eyes to hear how much these simple acts have brought their family together. The other wonderful lady that led this workshop has the most amazing co-parent set up that I just have to mention because I am so damn envious. She and her ex-husband are both remarried and share two teenage sons. They have a convenant of shared values, and also recognize that at each household there is a whole other set of values that they wish to uphold. Not only that but all four parents SIT DOWN AND TALK every quarter to check in on life and how the arrangements are going. They have agreed upon shared expenses for the boys that have an online budget where they keep track of who has spent what, and if one parenting team owes the other they PAY PAL it to them. Not only that they have an online calendar where they keep track of where the boys are and when, who is picking them up and what they are doing.

Oh. My. Goodness. How easy would that make everything? I don"t even know that my ex can use a computer. But if I could have such an arrangement, I might get bored with how much more smoothly things would run. Wait, just kidding, I WOULD DANCE WITH GIDDYNESS! Someday. Maybe.

For now though I will settle for sharing special little moments daily with my beautiful little girl.