Wednesday, September 10, 2008

time makes you older/children get older

Stepping into the church I was hit like a battering ram into the stomach with memories haunting me. Memories from a past I can't let go, and memories from a past I don't want to remember. How do those two become so intertwined?

I sat in the courtyard with a group of people that has not sat together since I was 15. That was more than 10 years ago. Ten years. What have I been doing since then? A lot. More than I could put into a 20 minute life update a memorial allows for. I walked away from that circle filled with questions about these dear people I don't keep in touch with, and a yearning for these connections to maintain between the weddings and funerals that seem to be increasing in frequency.

I was struck by the maturity of his 5 year old daughter, who requested to be the first to light a candle in his honor. She walked up there and told everyone how much she loved her dad, and that no amount of missing him, and wishing he were back, would actually bring him back. But that she would still always love him and he would always love her.

This man filled the world with music and love beyond wonder.

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